From Past to Present
by SeeleGenesis
Summary: Years after the worldwide cataclysm, Misato Katsuragi, now an elderly woman and languishing, will find some comfort for her open wounds in the confessions she will bring to the world regarding Nerv, Eva's pilots and her feelings.
1. Chapter 1

_**Notes:**_ _If you expect a story with lots of action, sorry, this fanfic is not for you. This fanfic is a drama that will take place years after the Last Impact and will be narrated from Misato Katsuragi's point of view. It is very important to emphasize that I will not focus so much on the technical aspects pertaining to the EVA, Nerv and Seele, will be more focused on the relationships, involvements and feelings from Misato's point of view about Shinji, Asuka and Rei especially._

 _"There are wounds that never show on the body and that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds."_

— _**Laurell K.**_ _ **Hamilton**_

"Mrs. Misato." greeted the reporter who introduced himself as Albert.

The man settled himself with feigned elegance on the frosted brown chair while expressing grateful acknowledgments.

Courtesies and mannerisms of men eager to prove their worth and competence.

His long fingers of clean fingernails smoothed out his gray jacket to undo imperceptible folds in the cheap fabric. A hand absently touched his chest until he found the object that would make the historical record.

The tapes of the recorder were checked methodically, would be a humiliation of global proportions if some unnoticed defect compromised the quality of the record.

The reporter shuddered not daring to draw the hypothetical scenario of such failure.

His dark brown eyes furtively looked at the asian lady in front of him.

She was a long, dry branch with arms and legs stained and wrinkled, with a thick brittle cloud of white hair falling in waves kneaded by your bony shoulders.

She did not react while the man did his preparatory procedure.

Others interviewed talked about any banality, an observation about everything and about nothing.

It was the social protocol that for this woman will become dispensable and meaningless after decades avoiding interactions with other people especially with the world press.

The break of silence was received with euphoria by the world press. The ex-major of the now-defunct Nerv telephoned the British Broadcasting Corporation, one of the few media outlets that did not completely succumb to the ruins after the cataclysmic era.

So keen was the interest of the BBC that the demands for the interview were promptly met. Misato Katsuragi, required only one interviewer and the equipment needed for recording.

Albert inspected the camera's proper framing.

"Mrs. Misato, can we start the interview?"

The pale and silent woman nodded solemnly.

With a muffled cough, the man returned to the chair, consulting a notepad with anxious sloppy scribbles. It was the interview questions.

"Mrs Misato, the BBC is grateful for giving us this interview, I am sure you are aware of the commotion that the testimony of a former Nerv major will provoke worldwide. Much has been speculated about his intentions to break secrecy after decades of the Great Impact." The reporter finished the interview introduction. Raising his eyes, he looked at the woman expectantly so that she would continue with her own justifications.

Misato's misty brown eyes studied the man in front of her.

He was not a longtime reporter. He was a newcomer to this profession.

hair thin and brown a bit disheveled. There was barely any stubble of beard on his round jaw and in the jutting apples of your face.

His arms and legs were long and crooked with the typical juvenile inelegance of a man crossing the frontiers of adolescence to the maturity.

Even his small brown eyes carried that naive timid air of an immature and insecure young man.

Misato swallowed hard.

Very young. Very immature.

He was a boy.

It could be Ikari Shinji with western traits.

Thorns pierced his fragile heart in his bone cage.

Realizing the young reporter's nervousness, Misato settled into her chair to ease the discomfort in her spine. That would be other information that would generate controversy. She could already draw the scene; magazines, newspapers, radio programs, headlines and other media, with big letters shouting the news to the planet's reduced population.

"I'm dying, Albert. Languishing every little moment. Every sigh ripped from my chest is a breath of life that goes away. The grains in the hourglass of my life are at the end."

 _That's why you're here_.


	2. Chapter 2

_**note from the author**_ _: For some reason I am fascinated by the way the world press and the Japanese population viewed Nerv and the EVAS. Evangelion is a very realistic anime, why not make it more real by exploring Eva's universe in other ways?_

" _In your mind's eye lives a memory_

 _Hard to find, blinded by sorrow"_

 _-_ _ **Hell Frozen Rain**_

The young man's eyes widened, his chin suddenly relaxing until his mouth opened in mute disbelief. He stuttered, seeming to find the right words, the interview taking an unexpected turn with such a revelation. Misato remained silent while the reporter preached her eyes on the floor, the grief evident in her shrunken shoulders. Her reaction confirmed Misato's initial suspicions. He was a novice unprepared. No emotional experiences enough to handle it. Why would someone send this boy insecure?

For the same reason that they put a kid so withdrawn to fly in a weapon of war?

"I ..." said the boy after a brief silence, his voice dripping with regret "I'm sorry."

Misato smiled faintly. It was not a smile that conveyed heat or comfort. But it was still a smile. An expression that Misato will think would never again adorn her face degraded by the harshness of the years.

"Don't lament, son. I'm old and tired ... "Misato pondered her exhaustion. There was an exhaustion in her mind that mistreated her more than the efforts of her withered muscles and brittle bones. "I need to rest."

The fragility in his voice was as palpable as the dusty walls.

The reporter recovered, nervously running his hand over his throat. A damn habit of his father.

"Aren't you interested in looking for some treatment?" He asked hesitantly. A questioning that was not in accordance with the established interview script.

The basic knowledge for the progress of civilization was mercifully kept intact after the Last Impact. While humanity was recovering from a cataclysmic event known as The Second Impact, the United Nations expanded the seed silo, known worldwide as the Svalbard Global Seed Vault, to encompass the preservation of humanity's historical knowledge of technology, science and medicine. The UN has adapted the name to Global Doomsday Silo. All this food and technology assets allowed powerful nations to stabilize on basic requirements to maintain a stable population. The priority has been given to the richer countries. It was not long before emerging and underdeveloped countries had their population wiped out within a few years. In the year 2035 the entire African Continent population was declared extinct.

The UN dindn't see the sense to wasted precious resources on countries that have nothing to offer to restructure the land.

The preserved knowledge of medicine spared the nations of infectious diseases, anomalies, and other diseases already known to man by the environmental imbalance.

Misato stared at her feet covered by a shoe with no sophistication whatsoever. The leather was faded on the worn soles. Since he moved to London, the habit of taking off his shoes at home has been forgotten.

is a japanese tradition to leave the shoes at the main entrance of a house, it is believed that apart from contributing to keep the ground free of impurities, it removed the impure energies coming from the outside world.

Misato wanted to snort.

The impure energies were within her. Corroding her. Not in your shoes.

"There is no point in extending my life artificially. I want to go elegantly, "Misato clarified.

It was a half truth. The woman simply could not find any sense in prolonging her melancholy any longer.

The reporter nodded solemnly. His eyes searched the next question on his pad. His voice took on a more clinical and professional tone.

"After the Great Impact, officials who survived the cataclysm exposed the organization's stealthy documents. There were many documents. Thousands. Some of them we can't confirm their credibility, were rumors, documents partially destroyed and other sources not reliable. However, one document provoked controversy. An unidentified official leaked reports to the Japanese media with a questionable content regarding his team of young drivers"

Misato stiffened. She could presume the nature of the rumors. Nerv has dealt with controversies in the past. Using children to act as soldiers was met with vehemence by the press. Jidou Soudansho, the Japanese tutelary board, has opened inquiries and investigations into allegations of child exploitation within the Nerv. The United Nations was quick to take action to ease public pressure. Social workers, lawyers and secretaries were bribed to spread a positive image of Nerv.

"Continue," Misato said so arid like a dry leaf.

"According to a document leaked in 2025, Gendo Ikari, commander of the Nerv was described as a highly icy and ruthless man, such characteristics that caused disgust and discomfort even in officials of the organization. Gendo Ikari, in the year 2014, would have ordered his son, Ikari Shinji and Eva's pilot, to destroy a unit identified as EVA 03 that reportedly was infected a hostile organism, being later classified as an Angel. It is disturbing to note that in this document, the EVA 03 pilot was a teen identified as Toji Suzuhara who was killed during operations."

His words sank slowly into her mind.

Misato felt her heart quiver and a pasta of agony form in her throat. Her stomach twisted like angry snakes with the urge to vomit with the nauseating and yet vivid memory in her mind of EVA 01 destroying the EVA 03 test unit.

 _She was on the floor with her face pressed against the sun-warmed asphalt, her blood drenching her sticky lashes, her humerus was broken and exposed, the sharp point of the bony segment had torn her tendons, muscles, skin, and flesh. His hearing was so muffled that his head seemed to have been plunged into icy, dark, deep waters._

 _In the deafening cacophony of metals sounds and screams, Misato stared out at the horizon, where the sun sets, releasing gold halos over the flowery Kurushimi hills._

It's beautiful. _Misato thought passionately with her senses disoriented by the explosion._

 _Then blood and guts poured like a scarlet wave over the beautiful hills._

 _Deafening screams and nonhumans shuddered the earth. It was a lament that brought the agony and grief of a primitive suffering._

 _Eva 01 stood up bathed in blood._

 _And the Sun set._

"I ..." Misato began in a choked voice.

Her heart sank when she recalled that her father (after filing a lawsuit against Nerv) begged them to lie to their daughter Sakura Suzuhara about Toji's whereabouts whenever she called the Nerv headquarters wanting news of her brother.

In consideration of the short service provided by her son, Nerv complied with the request.

"Do you know what Nerv did about it?" He asked weakly, his gaze lost and unfocused in the murky waters of the past.

hot tears dripped down until her skirt.

"Do you know what Nerv did?" Misato questioned again, her gaze betraying her mind in an irreparable state.

Albert felt uncomfortable.

Misato's aged hands shook.

"Mrs. Misato, I ..."

"They wrote letters to their youngest sister as if it were Toji writing them." Misato gasped as if she were suffocating. His thin body tormented by uncontrollable tremors. "They wrote letters to Sakura Suzuhara! Nerv kept this farce to preserve the girl from tragedy for damn eleven months! Eleven months this child lived believing that her brother was alive! Eleven months that this girl fed the hope that he would return home! Eleven months planning excuses to give to a girl who did not see the brother anymore! Eleven months hiding a corpse! "

Misato leaned forward, a hand on her chest where her heart hammered her ribs. Albert put his hands on her shoulders, stammering words of comfort to bring the lull to the environment. The woman pulled away abruptly, drying her tears roughly.

She was close to hysteria.

Albert was pale, staring at Misato for fear of a new emotional outburst.

it was admirable that such an old woman could endure so much stress and repressed feelings for years without succumbing and putting an end to her pain with her own hands.

"Yes," she growled in a voice so rough it could resemble a razor scraping the asphalt. "Gendo Ikari used the hands of his own son to take the life of a child."

"So ... what about the EVA 01 driver? He obeyed the orders ... "

"He refused to fight" Quickly cut Misato "He did not fight. Even when he was about to be killed. Even when he was ordered to fight ... he didn't fight."

Misato gave her a dead smile that did not appear in her wet eyes.

"He refused to kill his friend. And paid for it. "

"God ..." the reporter whispered "I'm sorry ... this information was not included ..."

"They were class friends," Misato clarified. "All children in Japan could be selected as EVA pilots."

Misato smirked, exposing her yellowed teeth by cigarettes.

"All the children in Japan were already doomed and didn't even know that."

His head leaned to the ceiling and his eyes closed. There was still a hint of a bitter smile on his parched lips.

"Ironic, isn't?" He asked in a strained voice. Eyes not open. "The UN funded a million-dollar advertisement of posters, magazines, products, clothing and even EVA toys.

The goal was to make the status of "Eva pilot" attractive to children. It worked. We received hundreds of letters every month from people of all ages expressing their desire to work at Nerv as an elite pilot. It was not long before the burden became a privilege among teenagers. This made it easier at the time of the pilot selection process. No tears, no reluctance, no protests from family ... "

His eyes widened, staring at the ceiling as if he were looking at something insulting.

His eyes widened, staring at the ceiling as if her were looking at something insulting.

."God ... I remember ... There was so much exposure in the media. Shinji, Rei, and Asuka were exalted as savior gods personified in flesh and blood. Eventually, the UN encouraged Nerv to invest in advertising and marketing. Nerv found more benefits in having the population at his side, blinded by the dazzle than acting in the shadows and attracting suspicions and antipathies of the population. They have risen to the status of one of the greatest icons of pop culture. Only its positives were brought to the public; the efficiency of the organization, the competence of its pilots, the way they committed themselves to the safety of the Japanese nation ... Artificial glories. "

Albert frowned.

"How did the pilots handle this exposure?"

Misato sighed heavily, looking at the reporter's jovial face.

"They discovered in the exposition that Nerv subjected them a way to fill their needs."

Misato slowly rose from her chair. As if some sudden movement could break up his tendons.

"I need a cigarette. The sun is already throwing its rays, would you accept some coffee?


End file.
